The Fruit of Good and Evil

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Bull pucky. An apple a day will keep you broke. iPhones, iPads, iPods, Nanos, Shuffles, Mac, iTunes, I could go on and on and on.  I love the iPad and iPod because you don't need fingers to use them...which is a very handy little feature considering my appendages or lack there of.

Like Eve, unable to resist the temptation of the apples sweetness and promised powers, I plucked an Apple from tree. I purchased an iPad. Sure enough, a few weeks later, another one came out. A better version, a hotter version, a quicker version. It's a vicious cycle of feeling cool and then feeling outdated. Soon Apple will have to come up with iMeds. Medication to treat the depression we experience from technical peer pressure caused by the Apple tree.

Apple, the fruit of good and evil.

Pink is the New Tan

Did you really think that I was born gloriously pink? Nooo.

I work hard to keep myself looking good.

I'm bringing sexy back.

Wardrobe Malfunction

I hate going out to dinner. I'm usually the only one not wearing pants.

What? Just buy some pants? Well, that's easy for you to say, but look at me!

My legs are 1/6 the size of my ears...a little tough to fit. Don't get me wrong, I think pants are glorious and I believe they have become the most ubiquitous and beloved staple for mankind.

Pants, slacks, kegs, breeches, trousers, bloomers, jodhpurs, pantaloons, jeans...whatever you call them, I wish I had a pair.

Sailors are thought to have played a central role in the spreading of pants as a fashion trend around the world. Sailors as trend setters, who would have thought it?  In the 16th-18th centuries, sailors wore loose fit trousers known as galligaskins. Sailors were also the first to wear jeans. I think MC Hammer also had a large part in the role of pants on society.

Can't touch this.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Recently Kim and I went to the Pacific Northwest.  After nagging her for over an hour, she finally stopped working and took me to the beach. 

I must have made her a little angry because she offered me a straw and told me to go snorkeling. 

She knows, as well as I do, that my peripheral vision is not adequate for that type of adventure. I mean, who knows what lives in that water. If it attacks, I at least wanna see it coming. 

Chick Magnet

Oh yeah. Women. Kim has no idea what a chick magnet I am. I met these two Russian girls while visiting Seattle. Kim was busy in the other room doing a workshop. She had no clue I was getting my pimp daddy on.

The one on the left is Asya and the one on the right is Polina. They didn't speak much English, which was good for me. I like having a chance to be a take charge kind of guy.  They had no clue I was missing an eye, they just thought that I was winking a lot which caused them to giggle constantly.  I helped them find some food and then put them on the train to Portland.  Portland is weird and you can blend in real easy. They'll do well there.

My Name is Meh.

My name is Meh. I have never blogged before, but am excited to start. I needed a place where I could express myself.  I travel around the country with Kim Weitkamp. She is not so bad. Don't bite the hand that feeds you is what I say.

I have one eye. But it has sharpened other senses. For instance, I can now balance on one foot much longer then before.  

The loss of my eye is a hard story to tell, maybe one day I will share it with you.

I hope you enjoy reading my blog. I will try to update each week sharing with you my new adventures. 

Meh.