Wardrobe Malfunction

I hate going out to dinner. I'm usually the only one not wearing pants.

What? Just buy some pants? Well, that's easy for you to say, but look at me!

My legs are 1/6 the size of my ears...a little tough to fit. Don't get me wrong, I think pants are glorious and I believe they have become the most ubiquitous and beloved staple for mankind.

Pants, slacks, kegs, breeches, trousers, bloomers, jodhpurs, pantaloons, jeans...whatever you call them, I wish I had a pair.

Sailors are thought to have played a central role in the spreading of pants as a fashion trend around the world. Sailors as trend setters, who would have thought it?  In the 16th-18th centuries, sailors wore loose fit trousers known as galligaskins. Sailors were also the first to wear jeans. I think MC Hammer also had a large part in the role of pants on society.

Can't touch this.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Recently Kim and I went to the Pacific Northwest.  After nagging her for over an hour, she finally stopped working and took me to the beach. 

I must have made her a little angry because she offered me a straw and told me to go snorkeling. 

She knows, as well as I do, that my peripheral vision is not adequate for that type of adventure. I mean, who knows what lives in that water. If it attacks, I at least wanna see it coming.